Pretty, Fizzy Paradise

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Hal Jordan is a bit of a doofus:

As seen in Creature in the Velvet Cage:



How long have you been a Lantern by now, Hal? It's not like you have a terribly complex or hard to understand weakness. It's not like you're vulnerable to an alien rock or something.

Your weakness is a primary color. Well, okay, not anymore, but back then? Your weakness was yellow. That? Is made of sand. The primary pigment in sand? *Yellow.*

Ergo, your ring+sand monster=you are dumb.

On the other hand, it's freakin' hilarious when he zaps you.

(Dude, Sand has mad rainbow skillz!)

18 Comments:

  • At July 04, 2006 6:54 AM, Blogger Ragnell said…

    Don't blame Hal. He's taken one too many hits to the head. It's understandable that he forgets the little things like his only weakness, how to put up a mental shield, how to keep up a steady relationship...

     
  • At July 04, 2006 7:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's not like he was useless just because Sandy was yellow. He could have used his ring to do something to the ground (say, make it break apart and envelope sandy). I don't understand why Lanterns always got so useless when their weakness presented itself, it comes up so often you'd think there'd be some sort of special training program in the Corps to work around it.

    But I guess Ragnell's right; too many blows to the head.

     
  • At July 04, 2006 8:25 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    ragnell: Heh, yep. Got it knocked out of him.

    anon: Well, in Green Lantern, Hal usually made a better showing. :-) Besides, the Corps isn't really known for making the wisest decisions. :-P

     
  • At July 04, 2006 10:02 AM, Blogger Erich said…

    Um, Hal...? Your beam ALREADY went right through him, so what more did you expect to accomplish by sending "a concentrated burst of energy through the silicon molecules"?

    One thing, though...this scene just goes to show, even as a mindless, lumbering sand monster, Sanderson Hawkins can whup anyone in the house...

    (One final bit of whimsy, inspired by the word-verification code "roropoe": Now I'm trying to imagine how Edgar Allan Poe would have written "Row, Row, Row Your Boat".)

     
  • At July 04, 2006 2:50 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Oh yeah. It's great. Best part is, he's not even *trying* to beat them so much as swat them out of the way.

    Still it's oddly satisfying. :-)

     
  • At July 04, 2006 5:19 PM, Blogger Centurion said…

    I love the rainbow effect. WHo knew that green could split into so many colors, including yellow?

     
  • At July 04, 2006 8:39 PM, Blogger Chris Sims said…

    Couldn't he have just made a giant boxing glove to punch Sandy's little red pants?

    And, now what I think of it, why is he wearing little red pants? He's a sand monster! This has the foul scent of Johnny Sorrow all over it!

     
  • At July 05, 2006 12:56 AM, Blogger notintheface said…

    He also could've made two giant green hands and clapped them together Hulk-style to produce some killer sound waves against Sandy.

    And GUY was the brain-damaged one?

     
  • At July 05, 2006 1:02 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    centurion: Hee. Pretty though.

    chris: Left over costume remnants? (But then how did they grow?!)

    rapazostra: Actually "Sandy" was a pretty common nickname for a boy in certain class circles in the early twentieth century. Still is in some places...for example, the father on the show O.C. goes by Sandy (as a nickname for Alexander).

    Given that the boy's first name ends up being "Sanderson" he really doesn't have a choice. :-P

    notintheface: Hee, yeah. Besides, if you read stuff now, like Recharge and GL 11, Guy's actually subtly portrayed as the more intelligent of the two I think.

    He just likes playing dumb. Hal *is* dumb.

     
  • At July 05, 2006 1:22 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    Oh! I misunderstood! :-)

    Sandy though was "Sandy the Golden Boy" long before he became...well...sand.

    He was the child sidekick to the golden age Sandman, Wes Dodds. No powers, just quick wits and martial arts/firearm training.

    In this story, though, we find out how in 1945 or so, Wes created an experimental silicoid gun, which exploded and did...well...that.

    Resulting in a fellow who's name, code name, powers, and chemical constituency (he's now a silicon-based being even while looking human) are all roughly the same thing. :-)

     
  • At July 05, 2006 1:32 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    *nod* It gets very silly sometimes. :-)

     
  • At July 05, 2006 4:02 AM, Blogger Brandon Bragg said…

    If I remember correctly(and correct me if I'm wrong), wasn't Sandy left as a big naked sand monster in a state of suspended animation when last we met him? Did some decency obsessed JSAer, probably Alan Scott,put those red short shorts on him, or did the lumbering hulk feel shamed enough to buy them before his rampage?

    Haven't slept in almost two days, so forgive me if this post makes no sense.

     
  • At July 05, 2006 4:04 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    In the current interpretation, which is likely more realistic, he was naked. (And much more dignified looking, as seen in JSA flashbacks).

    This however was from the seventies, where things were a little sillier.

     
  • At July 06, 2006 4:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Maybe Sandy just likes short-shorts?

     
  • At July 06, 2006 4:22 PM, Blogger kalinara said…

    But...Sandy was like 5'2 or something pre-transformation and gigantic after! Those shorts would have had to have been his *tent* or something...

     
  • At July 06, 2006 11:03 PM, Blogger Erich said…

    I can't help but think of Warren Ellis' depiction of Fin Fang Foom and his purple underpants in "Nextwave"...

     
  • At July 09, 2006 3:32 AM, Blogger Paul S. said…

    This is precisely why I prefer Kyle. Not only does he have the power to fight yellow... he would have thought of something like a giant dump truck, or well anything cooler than a giant fist.

     
  • At July 09, 2006 4:21 AM, Blogger kalinara said…

    :-) Poor Hal never gets any respect.


    Then again, it's obvious why. :-P

     

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