Why I Can't Read Ragnell's Blog When Sleep-Deprived:
Okay, honestly, the more I see this the more I laugh. Seriously. It's hilarious.
I can totally picture the JSA having pictures of everyone in the whole damned DCU with one sentence to some up each of them.
Which of course lead me to invent my own. Some of which may actually be funny. (But probably not)
Hal Jordan: Will-Working Concussion-Bait
Oliver Queen: Loud, Liberal Archer
Superman: Goody-Goody Hick with a Messiah Complex
Batman: Meglomaniac in a Batsuit
Sand: Frequently-Disrobed Sandmonster
Diana: Amazonian Bondage-Queen, I mean Princess.
Oracle: l33t h4xx0r pwns j00
Kyle Rayner: Metrosexual Artist Lucks Out
John Stewart: Not Hal, Not Kyle, The Other One.
Phantom Lady: Physicist, Model, Auton
Nightwing: Angstier Than You.
Superboy Prime: Teenage Superman With Added Emo
Aquaman: Not As Lame As He Sounds
Guy Gardner: Proof of God's Sense of Humor
...this is far more fun than it should be.
I can totally picture the JSA having pictures of everyone in the whole damned DCU with one sentence to some up each of them.
Which of course lead me to invent my own. Some of which may actually be funny. (But probably not)
Hal Jordan: Will-Working Concussion-Bait
Oliver Queen: Loud, Liberal Archer
Superman: Goody-Goody Hick with a Messiah Complex
Batman: Meglomaniac in a Batsuit
Sand: Frequently-Disrobed Sandmonster
Diana: Amazonian Bondage-Queen, I mean Princess.
Oracle: l33t h4xx0r pwns j00
Kyle Rayner: Metrosexual Artist Lucks Out
John Stewart: Not Hal, Not Kyle, The Other One.
Phantom Lady: Physicist, Model, Auton
Nightwing: Angstier Than You.
Superboy Prime: Teenage Superman With Added Emo
Aquaman: Not As Lame As He Sounds
Guy Gardner: Proof of God's Sense of Humor
...this is far more fun than it should be.
Labels: fanfic/creativity
posted by kalinara @ 7:09 AM
14 Comments:
At October 27, 2006 10:56 AM,
SallyP said…
Now I want to go over and visit the JSA's bulletin board. Hilarious!
At October 27, 2006 11:40 AM,
Anonymous said…
Hawkman: Pecs with wings...and a mace.
Phantom Lady: Spokesmodel for Plasti-Kote.
Firestorm: Molecular manipulation in pirate sleeves.
Okay, enough of that. You know, what's with all the photo team picking these days? Between Meltzer's JLA and the new JSA series, that's about all that's happening these days in the DCU: picking teams.
At October 27, 2006 12:43 PM,
Your Obedient Serpent said…
You know, what's with all the photo team picking these days?
Seriously. I wanna see some good, old-fashioned Legion Try-Outs.
And maybe a leader election.
At October 27, 2006 1:32 PM,
Amy Reads said…
Hi Kali,
Oh, the fun!
Supergirl: Not the angel. No, really.
Black Canary: Tights, not flights. Also? Sonic Cry.
Zatanna: ehs lliw epiw uoy
Catwoman: Former villain, always sexy.
Huntress: More Angst Than Batman, with bonus prettier face.
Okay, now I'm babbling :)
Ciao,
Amy
At October 27, 2006 2:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
Jay Garrick: Your grandfather on speed.
Barry Allen: White guy in tights.
Wally West: An eating disorder with an attitude.
At October 27, 2006 2:49 PM,
Ferrous Buller said…
Nightwing: Angstier Than Thou.
Fixed that for ya.
I wanna see some good, old-fashioned Legion Try-Outs.
One presumes the boys must demonstrate their courage, cunning, and power in order to gain admittance.
The girls, naturally, have a wet t-shirt contest...but in zero-g.
That's how you know they're in the Future!
At October 27, 2006 4:42 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hey, why use a single line when you can have...
The satellite Justice Leage of America haiku!
Last Son of Krypton
Truth Justice and Liberty
Up Up and Away
Dark Knight of Gotham
Endless nocturnal crusade
Hides grieving orphan
Amazon princess
Warrior pleading for peace
Truth personified
Fastest man alive
Scarlet streak through twin cities
Chasing destiny
Em'rald ring constructs
Unlimited willpower
Honest and Fearless
King of Atlantis
Lord of all beneath the waves
Ocean guardian
Shape shifter from Mars
The soul of the justice league
No longer alone
Unerring archer
Hot headed social conscience
Boxing glove arrow
Shrinking scientist
Travels along phone wires
Has a tiny chair
Thanagarian
Winged warrior from Egypt
Retconned to be both
Sonic scream deafens
Pretty bird martial artist
Wears mother's fishnets
Gingold makes him stretch
Nose twitches for mystery
Sue makes him complete
Gnitsac slleps sdrawkcab
S'rehtaf cigam egaenil
sliat dna a pot tah
Elements transmute
Professor Stein shows the way
Flames atop his head
Jeff
At October 27, 2006 5:04 PM,
Anonymous said…
Oracle: l33t h4xx0r pwns j00
Sigh. You just made me feel incredibly old. I have no idea what this is supposed to translate as.
At October 27, 2006 5:19 PM,
kalinara said…
sallyp: :-)
mark: I don't mind ONE issue each, as presumably they've fought long enough to know each other's capabilities.
But more than that is too much. IMO
serpent: JSA had a leader election! Hawkman got owned!
amy: It's a blast!
michael: Hee.
ferrous: Much Obliged!
crimson: Very Nice.
anon: It's very bad "l33t speak" (hideous gamer-slang :-)) for "elite hacker owns you." I think. I've never quite gotten a good handle on l33t.
At October 27, 2006 7:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
Kalinara: thanks for explaining the slang for Oracle...glad I wasn't the only one lost...
"Phantom Lady: Physicist, Model, Auton"
What's an 'auton'? Did you mean 'automaton'?
Never mind...I couldn't come up with one sentence descriptions even when I'm NOT sleep-deprived...:)
michael rawdon: LOVE the description of Jay Garrick!
crimsonthunder: WOW!! That was awesome!
At October 27, 2006 7:23 PM,
kalinara said…
An Auton is a villain from Doctor Who. They're like living mannequins made from plastic. :-)
At October 27, 2006 10:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
I thought I caught a (3rd and 9th) Dr. Who reference in there with the auton thing, didn't want to slip and expose my geek admitting it.
Thanx Chuck, apparently my subconsious does things like that while I'm not looking.
Jeff
At October 28, 2006 2:01 AM,
Cullen Waters said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At October 29, 2006 2:48 PM,
SallyP said…
I am finding "Will-working concussion bait" a whole lot funnier than I probably should.
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